I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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