I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
