Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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