I love black thongs
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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