hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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