STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
