I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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