Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize