i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
