nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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