is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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