five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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