It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
