Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
