His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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