I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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