ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
