I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
