the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
