btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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