and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
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