dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
