K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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