So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
