There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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