Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize