Soap is not a condiment
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
