he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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