so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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