So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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