You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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