should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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