Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
