I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
