Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
