actually, I'm a sock model
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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