No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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