You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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