Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
