Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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