Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
