I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
