am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize