You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
