Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
