so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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