Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
