brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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