it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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