so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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