just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
