You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
