Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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