it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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