Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
