I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
