i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
