moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
