This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
