dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
