why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
