I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
