He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
