Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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