I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
