Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
