Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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