I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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