she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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