Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
