found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
