i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
