do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize